Zero sleep last night, but somehow God continues to help me feel rested. Finally got on the treadmill at 6:50am. It’s funny that it seems late to me now, mostly because I’ve been awake a while already. Before all of this getting up before 8am was a pain, unless I was traveling. I’m convinced it’s the steroids. Anyway, I didn’t walk yesterday because my heel hurt from Monday, but today it was fine and I felt great after my four miles.
It was a total zoo today at the treatment center. The machine broke down early in the morning and put them severely behind. Can’t believe I forgot my camera. At least five Prostate Club members were waiting and at one point four to five others. Several were quite frustrated and I think I would have been in the past, but not now. Oh, I was starving to be sure, since I can’t eat before I have the treatment, but if the machine isn’t working properly I WANT it to shut down. They motors I’ve talked about before seem to be the culprit. There are 120 of them in the head of the machine and if the positioning is ever out by some incredibly small amount it faults out. GOOD! We’re talking radiation for heaven’s sake! 🙂 And I want it to be very accurate.
Yesterday one of the technicians told me that today was my last day and wondered if Dr. McGee had talked to me about the “boost”. Today I learned the “boost” is a more focused radiation treatment right where the tumor was for the last seven days. Sounds good to me.
It was 11:30 before we got home, which is two hours later than normal. I was so glad to finally get to eat. My protein shake and egg sandwich, with cheese and catsup, never tasted so good. 🙂
My friend Brad Diggs drove all the way down from Chicago where he is attending a Sun technical event. Another friend, Terry Sigle, had planned to join, but took ill and decided to spare me. Thanks, Terry, but I sure would have loved to see you! Brad and I had a good time for the three+ hours he visited and didn’t leave too much turf uncovered. Brad is the one who helped Michelle Kneer set up the meal calendar for us. What a Godsend that has been. Of course I had to take a picture, which I first did in the house, but when we got out to his car and he reminded me they don’t get much snow in Dallas, I decided we needed to retake it so his kids could see what living with all the seasons is like 🙂
I’m positive that the decadron is causing head pressure and impacting my eye. Both times I take it each day I’m impacted. It’s not always for long and it always seems to disappear by “bedtime” (notice I did not say sleeptime). I at least know what to expect. I was told the other day that it has a half-life of 56 hours – meaning after 56 hours, over four days!, it is half what I took. I’m going to be amazed if the effects wear off before May! 🙂
My friend Diane made me these amazing granola bars last week and I got addicted. I ran out on my trip to MO with Mike. I asked her to make more for me and she agreed, then sent me a note about one of my updates saying she wanted to help me in the battle and if that means making granola bars she’s in. I hoped to get a picture of her too, but here is my favorite snack from my own personal “warrior granola chef” 🙂 Thanks, Diane! With these and the Metamucil I have to believe things will come out ok, right? 😉
Working on the next steps after my treatment would actually be funnier if it wasn’t so important. I’m glad to be totally trusting God for this because Mike and I agreed tonight the system is just completely broken. I may have to write an entire entry just about how this works because you would not believe it. Mike and I actually do laugh about it – hey I try to laugh about everything – but it’s a problem. So pray. Pray that we would find a phase 2 or 3 clinical study that will be covered by my insurance and which uses temodar and some other drug like avastin or tarceva. Right now we think UCSF could be the right place, but ask God to guide us. Thanks.
It was great to get to church tonight and Cal gave a great message on prayer and how the Psalms can teach us a lot about five different ways to pray. It shouldn’t be a surprise that not only do I love to pray more than ever, but I pray more than ever 🙂 Of course I pray for myself, but oh how I love to pray for others, including many of you. The tears of joy I’ve shed as I pray for people are some of my very favorite times. It’s hard to describe. Anyway, thankfulness was one of the ways we should pray and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t think I have ever had a more thankful heart, which may seem strange, but it’s so like God to have everything flipped upside down, isn’t it? God did not do this to me, but he allowed it and I am so thankful, yes, thankful. Not that it’s possible, but you could not take this from me. I would not go back. And if you got a glimpse of what I hear, see and feel you would be envious! OK, minus the scar, insomnia, poor vision and constipation 🙂 God is that good!
Here’s my “secret” and thanksgiving is one of the keys:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ” Philippians 4:6-7
If you have something like this happen, you find out real fast how “living and active” (Hebrews 4:12) God’s word really is. When ONLY the peace of God will sustain you. And when the mighty right hand of God Almighty delivers what truly does transcend ALL understanding. And it ABSOLUTELY does guard your heart and mind. Take my word for it, you are unbelievably, incredibly, joyfully, tearfully and completely THANKFUL!
I need a miracle, God specializes in them, pray BIG!