Friday was a long day and I didn’t feel well for most of it. I decided late to walk outside and Eileen wasn’t happy with me taking the “dangerous” route without Megan 🙂 Not sure how I missed it the other two times, but there is a sidewalk in plain sight on the LEFT (where I can’t see). So now I have a safe route.
That evening Eileen and I got to go out with our friends Dan and Sherie, to get pie. Pie can make everything better. Well, almost.
I always get banana cream, but for some reason decided to go with cherry. I won’t make that mistake again. I like mine tart the way my mom makes it. Even the scoop of ice cream didn’t help. However, the company made up for it. I laughed out loud for the first time in a while when we discussed my upcoming first flight since my surgery and what it might do to my head. Sherie suggested that I wear an astronaut helmet and picturing that really made me laugh. Thanks for the evening and the laughs, guys!
So they won’t be adding “M.D.” to the end of my name any time soon. The move to 4mg of decadron didn’t do much of anything, best as I could tell. So, I made the decision to back down starting on Saturday. The side effects of decadron are just not worth if there is no relief. Saturday was a long day.
Saturday night we watched “Game Plan”, which was cute, but pretty much what I expected with “The Rock” as the lead actor. It was more for Lauren and she liked it- for the second time.
Sunday I got a good walk in on the treadmill before church and actually felt ok before noon. However, by early afternoon the eye pressure was really a problem. We went to lunch with our friends John and Susie and I can only imagine that they felt like Dan and Sherie, watching me apply pressure to different parts of my head while carrying on a conversation. Here is what it looks like:
I know it isn’t a pretty sight, but what can I say, the pressure makes it feel better for some reason. Fortunately I have good friends that cut me slack 🙂
I rested the remainder of Sunday afternoon, but since I can’t sleep I listened to the EDS Byron Nelson golf tournament. When it got to the end I got up and watched the finish and tie-breaker. It was a great distraction for me and the final putt was really something.
On Friday I had asked my doctor to prescribe a new sleep aid. I’ve been taking ambien since surgery and it just isn’t working. The past several nights I took two Tylenol PM and an ambien only to sleep for a little over an hour! The doctor called it into Walgreen’s and we went to pick it up Friday night. Can’t tell you how disappointed I was when it wasn’t there. I called my doctor and he said I’d have to wait until Monday. Arggghh! Fast forward to today and I have them call it in – again. Eileen goes to pick it up and it isn’t there – again. Not sure how that happens. Supposedly the pharmacist at Walgreen’s is busy so the prescription is left on voice mail, which somehow gets deleted. And I was worried about mail order!
I hate to admit it, but today was one of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time. The pain came on strong and early and my eyesight felt severely impacted. I told Duke how the weekend had gone and they suggested that I get another MRI as soon as possible. I don’t know why that affected me like it did, but it brought on anxiety that I’ve not felt since this began. I prayed and listened to my bible. It was inescapable and I confess I felt like I did right after my surgery.
Finally, God reminded me that nothing had changed. Yes, I had lots more head and eye pain, but that could be a number of things. Since I wasn’t feeling my way into acting, I decided to act my way into feeling. So, I got up, got my sweats on and walked while listening to a CD on prayer and faith. Once again “the peace of God which passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:6-7) was protecting my heart and mind.
Please pray for my MRI tomorrow at 3pm CT and that it is completely clean. Also, continue to pray for relief from head and eye pain. Lastly, pray that I remain confident in God, who really is my refuge and fortress and my very present help in time of need. Without Him I’m not sure what I would do.
It also wasn’t a coincidence that I was listening to Hebrews today:
“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:7-11)
I need a miracle, God specializes in them, pray BIG!